Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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