either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I understand Curling. That high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
