I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Congratulations! We have a period
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
