No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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