I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
