He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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