Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
