I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
