I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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