There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
