You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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