is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i will never coherently bang her
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My breasts were aching with rage.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
