I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
