whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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