yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i think my cat just said my name.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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