Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
bring money and cleavage
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
