the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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