Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He better not be in your backpack
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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