He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
