Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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