Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
