As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
be right there i have to get my cape
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
