Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
