shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
