idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wat bout pragnant strippers??
he shaved USA in his pubs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
