It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
