We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
