Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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