forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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