I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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