he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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