Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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