Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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