Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
