If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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