Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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