id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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