Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
