how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
