yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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