I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
