hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
