apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
