I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
