got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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