maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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