I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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