You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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