We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
