help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
