O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
