He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
